The Homeowners Blues

A home owners work is never quite done,
Pulling the weeds in the hot summer sun.
Pushing the lawn mower up and then back,
Stuffing the clippings into a sack.

Installing sprinklers was such a great plan,
Each are on timers, no watering by hand.
Then one is run over or hit with the trimmer,
Replacing a sprinkler can sure make me simmer.

We have no hot water I hear in a scream,
From my son in the shower jumping from the stream.
The plumber comes out and replaces one wire,
The $400 dollar charge will make me perspire.

So when I retire I'm selling this place,
And renting a condo and leaving in haste.
No more home fixin' or patching to do,
I'm calling the manager, "send out your crew!"

Ken Ferguson

Happy Birthday to English singer songwriter, actor, and instrumentalist Phillip "Phil" David Charles Collins who turns 64 today. Collins is divorced and has five children.

There's a poem in this picture.  I just haven't found it yet.

I need a bumper sticker like this one.

"Brady Bunch" mom Florence Henderson sure isn't living in a 1970s TV show.

"I actually have a friend with benefits!" the soon-to-be 81-year-old actress told Closer Weekly.
Henderson, divorced and widowed, said her sex buddy is a chiropractor in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

"There is no age limit on the enjoyment of sex. It keeps getting better,” Henderson told Closer. "You learn to do things with more experience, intelligence and the ability to choose more wisely."

The prime-time matriarch, whose family comedy "The Brady Bunch" originally aired from 1969 to 1974, is apparently on to something. According to a 2012 survey in the American Journal of Medicine, women over 80 had a greater frequency of sexual satisfaction.

You go girl.  I guess that would explain that gleam in her eye.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/29/florence-henderson-friend-with-benefits_n_6570780.html

Happy Birthday to actor Scott Glenn who turns 74 years old today. Mr. Glenn is usually a co-star, but you might recognize him from his roles in "Silverado", "Backdraft", and  "Hunt for Red October".  He was also in the "Bourne Identity" films and "Silence of the Lambs" among others.

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was summoned to answer questions about the footballs that were mysteriously deflated in their game against the Colts. This was covered live on all the sports networks and also live on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, and a bunch of local channels. You would think Tom Brady had killed the president's dog.- Jimmy Kimmel

Their swim suits should be hanging on that line as well.  Just saying...

Happy Birthday to Neil Diamond who turns 74 years old today.

The Witch's Brew

Add a little of this and a little of that, the recipe’s not specific,

Whatever you chose to add to the brew,

Will certainly be terrific.

A witch’s brew in a caldron boils at a temperature all its own,

The goddess is in control you see,

The results are quite unknown.

Hour after hour it simmers, and stews, crackling over the fire,

Giving off a hideous smell,

All secret potions require.

The aged crone stirs the broth, with the thigh bone of an ass,

Whispering spells under her breath,

Several days must pass.

Light colored candles, draw a circle, a pagan rite to commence,

Dancing naked by the fire,

The celebration immense.

The witch’s brew is finally done, boiled to perfection,

Take a swig, a gulp, or more

And alter your perception.  

Ken Ferguson

Cool picture!  I would imagine his adrenalin is amped up pretty high at this point.  I never realized that there was an uptake at the end of the carrier to give them a little extra boost. 

Went for a bike ride yesterday.  I started at the park off of the 91 frwy at Imperial Hwy and rode east to Green River Rd and back.  The wind seemed to keep changing on me and so I had a head wind quite often.  Gonna ride again tomorrow, Sunday, to the beach.

Happy Birthday to Richard Dean Anderson, aka Angus MacGyver, aka Col. Jack O'Neill, who turns 65 years old today. 

Anderson is a Minnesota native who wanted to be a professional hockey player until he suffered a major hockey injury breaking both arms

Anderson started his career in the soap opera "General Hospital" as Dr. Webber.

Anderson starred in the hit television series "MacGyver" for seven seasons from 1985 to 1992.

We watched Anderson move up the ranks from major to general in the "Stargate SG1" adventures from 1997 to 2008.

Anderson has never married.  He did date one of my faves, figure skater Katarina Witt for a time.   He does have a daughter from a dating relationship with Apryl Prose, a wardrobe specialist, who is 16 years old.

Just one more anxiety to add to my list.

Happy Birthday wishes go out to my little sisters, Suzy on the right and Kathy "Babes" on the left.  Born on the same day three years apart. 

A decision lies before me, I’ve pondered it for days,

I’ve considered all the angles, thought of all the ways.

My life would change for the better, or suffer a collapse,

Am I being selfish, and longing for the past?

Decisions shouldn’t be hasty, but pondered by the hour,

They’re filled with apprehension, but offer up the power.

To provide one’s life with challenge, opportunity, and praise,

And if I’m really lucky, I might even get a raise.

OK it’s done, I’ve made a choice, I’ve boiled it down to one

Now its time to consider just what the hell I’ve done.

To alter my life’s destiny, or merely change the way,

To earn an honest living, and fill my working day.

Ken Ferguson